Thursday, April 22, 2010

Invisible Fences Make Good Neighbors

My dog has an Invisible Fence... a wire that runs around my property and is buried under the ground. He wears a collar and if he gets too close to the line it beeps, and if he ignores the beep... it gives him a shock. This sounds cruel, but I live on a busy street and with three kids running in and out, there was a good chance of him getting out and getting hit. Once we had the fence installed, he did get shocked a few times. But only a very few. They put flags up to warn him where the border was and he learned in a day where his territory was. It has gotten to the point where he doesn't even wear his collar much anymore. He just assumes that his border is what it is... and he is content in his box. And he runs madly around in that box to the point of wearing a path through my front yard... right where the line is.

Having spent much of the last year watching the unfolding drama of various celebrities... John Edwards, Tiger Woods, Jesse James, and Tiki Barber... to name the obvious... I am struck by a sea change of the male/female dynamic. I am not naive enough to think that these men are a new phenomenon. The sea change is, however, in how these men are portrayed in the press, and by the public in general. In many cases prior, much of the blame was wrongly placed on the woman... the succubus who come for seduction and are completely irresistible to even the strongest of men, willing them away from their chosen mates. But the sea change is that in these latest cases the men are portrayed as the offenders and the women, as innocent victims of the man's sexual appetites. I don't really know what went on in any of these cases... and neither do you... as much as you think you might. In all likelihood there is guilt on both sides of the aisle. But that doesn't make for as good of a story.

But how does this relate to Invisible fences... you ask.

Well, if I didn't buy my dog an Invisible Fence... he would undoubtedly be running around the neighborhood in a bacchanalian frenzy, screwing everything in sight... girl dogs, boy dogs, children, legs, trees, fire hydrants... etc. There are many dogs in my neighborhood... and many real fences... and some of the dogs ignore their borders and dig under the fences and bound around, breaking out of their boxes and breaking the rules. It isn't until they get hit by the car that they realize that this probably wasn't a good idea. However, those with fences that shock provide some pain beforehand to deter the inevitable frenzy to occurs. I wonder how many of the above mentioned men would have strayed if they were given the painful shock of embarrassment and family ruination that comes after the fact.

It is easy to sit on the sidelines and judge others... and I realize that none of us are completely to blame... nor completely innocent. My dog follows his nature. His nature is to sow his seed far and wide. As more evolved... we humans are supposed to live by a code which uses rules and morals to provide the Invisible Fences around us. Our big brains allow us to think into the future and to see the destruction our actions will cause... both to ourselves and to those around us. Yet the big brain is often overridden by the little brain of our libido.

Perhaps we all just need to wear collars that provide us a jolt of electricity when we begin to get too close to the line.


  1. i think you're dead on...but i can think of the public outcry at what level would it be determined we need a shock. and then they would want to regulate and and eventually, tax it. and if they taxed it...are there loopholes. and if there are loopholes, isn't that what got us in trouble in the first place? *smile* that inability to regulate ourselves.

  2. Not to mention the people that actually like the shock part.

    Ouch... more please.

  3. I love this. I've thought about getting an Invisible Fence for my kids. ;)

  4. One day I was on the treadmill and Nancy Grace was on the gym TV. She had the lawyer representing one of Tiger's jilted, I guess, girlfriends. She was suing him for an apology. Nancy said, "and money, right?" She said, with rightous indignation, "No she just wants a public apology" Because he told this girl he loved her and then it was all, I guess, a lie. Wow. What if I sued all the boys who ever said they loved me.....but then asked my friend to a concert just the very next week! Bastard. Each relationship gone bad. If they don't apologize to your satisfaction you take them to court and FORCE them to apologize. (And make monetary reparations for emotional damage..goes without saying.)

  5. I think that a fair number of the mentioned celebrities need not only an electric fence, but an assistant with a timer and a cattle prod. Star getting too close to a stripper and papparazzi may be present----ZAP!! ZAP!! Away from that stripper Tiger Woods!!
    Perhaps then some of them would learn, like Hugo, that there are boundaries-for everyone.

  6. @ twills... don't think it hasn't crossed my mind.

    @cynthia... i love that they are all indignant that they weren't his one and only... despite the fact that he was married. Duh.

    @pina... kudos on remembering MobiDog's name. Color me impressed.

  7. We have opposable thumbs and we're slightly more evolved than dogs so we get that the fence only works when the collar is on. It's too easy to just take our collars off when the shock proves to be less than thrilling and step right over the line.

    Ouch, yourself.

  8. Ooooooh, a new wedding trend! Out with the chastity belt--in with the shock collars! (and Shannon, we'll just have 'em welded on...) We could make them all bling and schnazzy and stuff, you could plug in your blue tooth or download your ipod--mini speakers would be extra...(learn spanish while you sleep!)

    I love our "natures"...but every time some uses that phrase to excuse selfish choices, I want to vomit.

    Then again, there's always castrating if a male gets randy--works on cats. Did I say that?

  9. Even better are those new radial-shape wireless fences from Havahart that don't require digging. I just got one and it was really easy set up.
    Here's the wireless fence I'm talking about: